You're in your office when Sarah knocks on your door. "Hey, can I run something by you real quick?" she asks. It's about ordering supplies for the kids' ministry—the same supplies she's ordered for three years without asking.
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Sound familiar?
If you're a church leader, you've probably noticed this shift. Staff members who used to confidently make decisions now seek your approval for everything, even choices they're clearly qualified to make. It's frustrating, time-consuming, and frankly puzzling.
But here's the thing: when good staff start asking permission for everything, it's usually not about respect or wanting to keep you in the loop. It's about unclear boundaries and eroded trust.
The Invisible Shift in Church Staff Decision-Making
This change happens so gradually you almost miss it. One day your staff are confidently leading their ministries, making routine decisions, and keeping things moving forward. The next, your calendar is packed with meetings about decisions you really shouldn't need to make—and decisions you really don't want to make.
Your team members aren't trying to waste your time or micromanage upward. They're trying to protect themselves. Somewhere along the way, the boundaries became unclear, and now they're playing it safe by bringing everything to you first.
What's Really Happening Underneath
Think back over the past few months. Did you question a decision publicly? Redirect something without explanation? Change their work without discussing it first? Even well-intentioned leadership moves can send unintended messages about trust and authority.
Maybe you were having a stressful day and your response came across more critically than you intended. Perhaps you made a quick change to their ministry plan without explaining your reasoning. Or you might have overruled a decision in front of others.
Your staff noticed. And now they're covering their bases.
"But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves." - Exodus 18:21-22
The Recalibration: How to Restore Healthy Decision-Making
The good news? This is fixable. But it requires intentional conversation and clear boundary-setting.
Start the Conversation They're Waiting For
Don't dance around it. Address it directly with something like: "Hey Sarah, I've noticed you've been asking for my permission for things you used to just handle. Help me understand what changed."
Don't assume you know why. Ask and listen. Your staff member might reveal a specific incident that shifted their confidence, or they might express confusion about evolving expectations.
Clarify Decision-Making Boundaries
This is where the rubber meets the road. Be specific about:
- Dollar amounts: "You can approve expenses up to $500 without checking with me"
- Timeline decisions: "Event scheduling changes more than 30 days out are yours to make"
- Staffing choices: "Volunteer recruitment and scheduling decisions don't need my approval"
Put these boundaries in writing if needed. Clear expectations prevent future confusion and give your staff confidence to act.
The Trust Rebuild Process
When staff bring you decisions they should own, resist the urge to just answer and move on. Instead, ask: "What do you think we should do?"
Let them talk through their reasoning. Then affirm their thinking: "That sounds right. You don't need to ask me about this type of thing." Name it out loud. This gives them a "permission reset" for similar decisions in the future.
Action Items for Leaders
This Week:
- □ Identify one staff member who's been over-asking for permission
- □ Schedule a clarifying conversation about decision-making boundaries
- □ Create or review your decision-making authority matrix
- □ Practice redirecting decision questions back to the staff member first
When It's a Team-Wide Issue
If multiple staff members are showing this pattern, it's time for a team conversation about decision-making. Address questions like:
- What decisions belong at what level?
- Where are the boundaries unclear?
- What's been confusing about our current system?
Frame this conversation around clarity, not blame. Your staff will appreciate the opportunity to understand expectations better.
"But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way." - 1 Corinthians 14:40
The Leadership Principle Behind the Practice
Here's what every church leader needs to understand: Your staff want to lead well. They're not asking permission to annoy you or because they don't care about efficiency. They're asking because they're confused about boundaries or they've been burned before.
Clear expectations create confident leaders. When people know where the fence is, they can run freely within those boundaries. When the fence is invisible or keeps moving, they'll stay close to home base—which in this case is your office door.
Discussion Questions for Your Team
- What decisions do you make confidently on your own versus what you feel you need to check on first?
- Have we noticed any shift toward asking permission for things we used to decide independently?
- Where do we currently have clear decision-making boundaries, and where might we need better definition?
- What would help you feel more empowered to make decisions in your ministry area?
Your Next Steps
Don't let this issue fester. Permission paralysis kills team effectiveness and burns out leaders. This week, identify one staff member who's been asking permission for decisions they should really own.
Have that clarifying conversation. Ask what changed. Reset the boundaries and give them explicit permission to lead in that area. Your investment in this conversation will pay dividends in restored confidence and improved efficiency.
Remember, you hired capable people for a reason. Sometimes they just need to know where the fence is so they can run freely within it.
"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." - Matthew 25:21
What's your experience with the permission paradox? I'd love to hear how you've navigated decision-making boundaries with your church staff. Send your thoughts and questions to podcast@chemistrystaffing.com—I read every email and often feature your questions in future episodes of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast.
For more resources on building healthy church staff culture and all your staffing needs, visit us at chemistrystaffing.com.
