Nobody wakes up one day and decides to blow up their ministry.
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It doesn't work that way. What happens is slower. Quieter. More insidious.
A little compromise here. A justified exception there. A growing sense that you've earned the right to live by a different set of rules than other pastors, other staff members, even your board or elders.
And somewhere along the way, you stop asking: "Is this right?" and start asking: "Can I get away with it?"
That's how ego and entitlement work in ministry. They whisper sweet justifications in your ear. And if you don't catch those voices early, they will win.
After studying leadership collapses for over 25 years, I've seen this pattern destroy countless ministries. The goal isn't to shame anyone—it's to help prevent the next collapse from happening. Because here's the truth: every fallen leader I've studied believed they were the exception to the rule.
What Ministry Entitlement Really Looks Like
Entitlement in ministry is simply ego wearing a clerical collar. It's pride dressed up in spiritual language.
It convinces you that the rules apply differently to you. That you've sacrificed enough to deserve a shortcut. That your calling somehow exempts you from the ordinary disciplines that apply to everyone else.
Listen to how entitlement sounds in the mind of a church leader:
- "I work harder than anyone on this staff—I deserve this."
- "Nobody really understands the pressure I'm under."
- "I've earned the right to be trusted without question."
- "After all I've done for this church, God will understand."
- "I've had 50 baptisms this year—surely I've earned some grace."
But here's what that really is: self-deception dressed in spiritual language. It's not leadership—it's the slow path to ministry failure.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." - Philippians 2:3-4
The Jesus Way: Downward Mobility
Jesus rejected everything our culture rewards. He had absolutely every right to claim power, position, and privilege. And yet he didn't.
What did he do instead? He washed feet. He served tables. He walked toward suffering rather than away from it. He hung out with sinners instead of the religious elite.
Philippians 2 tells us that Jesus "made himself nothing." The Jesus way is downward mobility—and most of us, if we're honest, are climbing in the other direction.
We're building platforms instead of washing feet. We're seeking recognition instead of serving in secret. We're protecting our reputation instead of embracing vulnerability.
Four Ways to Kill Entitlement Before It Kills You
So how do we guard against this slow drift toward entitlement? Here are four practical disciplines that can save your ministry:
1. Stay Teachable
If you're reading this post, that tells me you're already doing something right—you're still learning. Keep that posture.
Remain in environments where you're not the smartest person in the room. Attend conferences outside your comfort zone. Read books that challenge your assumptions. Surround yourself with people who know more than you do.
2. Stay Accountable
Don't just have people who support you around you—have people who will challenge you. You need truth-tellers, not just cheerleaders.
Find someone who has permission to ask you hard questions about your heart, your marriage, your finances, and your integrity. Give them full permission to call you out when they see red flags.
3. Stay Grounded
Do ordinary things regularly. Mow your lawn. Wash dishes. Take out the trash. Serve in an area of your church where nobody sees you—not from the platform.
These mundane activities keep you connected to reality. They remind you that you're human, not superhuman.
4. Stay Confessional
When you catch yourself drifting toward entitlement, name it out loud to someone who won't let you off the hook.
Quick confession kills slow corruption. Don't let pride simmer in secret—expose it to the light before it grows into something destructive.
Discussion Questions for Your Team
- When have you caught yourself thinking "This is beneath me" in your ministry context? What was happening in your heart in that moment?
- How can we as a staff team hold each other accountable when we see signs of entitlement creeping in?
- What's one area where you've noticed power or position making you feel like you deserve special treatment?
- What would it look like for our church if we truly embodied servant leadership in every interaction?
The Leadership Profile That Prevents Falls
Here's what I've learned after studying countless leadership failures: The best leaders are the ones who don't believe their own press.
They know they're capable of failure. They build systems to protect against their own blind spots. They surround themselves with truth-tellers, not yes-men. They don't confuse giftedness with godliness.
Most importantly, they lead like Jesus—who came not to be served, but to serve.
"Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all." - Mark 10:43-44
The Bottom Line
Here's what every church leader needs to hear: You are not above the disciplines that apply to everyone else.
You're not above accountability. You're not above the Scripture. You're not above the standards you preach to others.
That's not harsh—that's protective. Because ego and entitlement will take you down if you don't take them down first. They have destroyed ministries before, and they will do it again.
Action Steps for This Week
- Do something that's "beneath your position" this week—and tell no one
- Ask someone close to you: "Have you noticed any entitlement creeping into my leadership?"
- Identify one area where you've been making exceptions for yourself
- Schedule a regular accountability check-in with a trusted truth-teller
- Serve someone on your team without being asked and without taking credit
Take the Next Step
If you're in a fragile spot or you're not on solid ground, put up some guardrails now. Don't wait until you're in crisis mode.
I've created a free assessment for pastors and church leaders at whenthechurchfalls.com/assessment. It's 10 questions that will honestly evaluate where you might be vulnerable and give you a clear picture of your current health.
Remember: the goal isn't perfection—it's protection. We want to build churches that don't just survive, but thrive. And that starts with leaders who are humble enough to admit they need guardrails.
What resonated most with you from this post? I'd love to hear your thoughts and how your church is working to prevent leadership failures. Email me at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com—I read every message.
This post is adapted from Episode 555 of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast and insights from my book "When the Church Falls." For more resources on building healthy church teams, visit chemistrystaffing.com.
