--- title: Is Church Staff REALLY a Family? description: Leaders can be quick to call their team a family... but are they really? Sometimes we use family terminology in order to justify a one-way sacrifice... image: https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/kevin-delvecchio-273275-unsplash.jpg --- [Skip to content](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/is-church-staff-really-a-family#main-content) [![cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hs-fs/hubfs/cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95.webp?width=342&height=95&name=cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95.webp "cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95")](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/) - [How We Help](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/what-we-do/) - [How We Help Candidates](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate/) - [How We Help Churches](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/church/) - [Our Team](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/team/) - [Our Mission & Strategy](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/what-we-do/) - [Churches](https://chemistrystaffing.com/church) - [Hire New Staff](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/2021-churches-new-staff-hiring/) - [Free 30-Minute Church Consult](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) - [Chemistry Solutions – You Don’t Have to Do Ministry Alone](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/solutions/) - [Final Fit Assessment](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/final-fit-assessment/) - [Senior Pastor Succession](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/succession/) - [Job Seekers](https://chemistrystaffing.com/candidate) - [Add My Resume / Profile](https://chemistry.fyi/kwq) - [Current Openings](https://chemistrystaffing.com/jobs) - [Free Resume Assessment](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/free-resume-self-assessment/) - [Step-by-Step Job Search](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/cjb) - [How Chemistry Can Help](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate/) - [Resources](http://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate/) - [Free Playbooks & Downloads](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/resources/) - [Chemistry Blog](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/) - [2024 Youth Pastor Compensation Survey](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/resources/2024-yp-compensation-survey/) - [Contact Us](http://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) - [Candidates](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate-contact-page/) - [Churches](http://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) - [Find a Job](https://chemistrystaffing.com/jobs) - [My Church is Hiring](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) [Staff Health](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/tag/staff-health) # Is Church Staff REALLY a Family? Leaders can be quick to call their team a family... but are they really? Sometimes we use family terminology in order to justify a one-way sacrifice... ![kevin-delvecchio-273275-unsplash](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/kevin-delvecchio-273275-unsplash.jpg) # Choose your descriptors wisely... I've been reading Jason Fried's *[It Doesn't Have to be Crazy at Work](https://amzn.to/2TsGa0T),* and he has been challenging me on how I think about work, what we value in the office, and how we choose the words to describe our work life. One of the sections that I have been really wrestling through is where he challenges bosses saying that their team is like a family. Here's what he says: > *Whenever executives talk about how their company is really like a big ol’ family, beware. They’re usually not referring to how the company is going to protect you no matter what or love you unconditionally. You know, like healthy families would. Their motive is rather more likely to be a unidirectional form of sacrifice: yours.* > *The best companies aren’t families. They’re supporters of families. Allies of families. They’re there to provide healthy, fulfilling work environments so that when workers shut their laptops at a reasonable hour, they’re the best husbands, wives, parents, siblings, and children they can be.* Perhaps Fried is a little jaded, but that doesn't mean that he is wrong. We are quick to highlight and celebrate the sacrifices that our teams make in order to further the vision of the church and make their ministries successful. But when was the last time that the church *joyfully* sacrificed in a ministry area in order to allow a staff member to achieve their goals or to serve their family for a season? If we are going to call our team a family, let's be intentional about modeling the behaviors of a healthy family. Otherwise, let's be supporters of families and encourage our teams to disconnect from work, invest in their relationships, and have healthy boundaries around their work and family lives.   ![matt](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hs-fs/hubfs/matt.png?width=124&name=matt.png)   ### [![Matt Steen](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/IMG_4588.jpg) Matt Steen](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/author/matt-steen) Matt has served the local church for over two decades as a youth pastor, church planter, and executive pastor. Originally from Baltimore, Matt currently lives in Orlando, with his wife Theresa, and has a B.S. in Youth Ministry from Nyack College and an M.Div. and MBA from Baylor University. Certified as an Urban Church Planter Coach by Redeemer City to City and as a StratOp facilitator by the Paterson Center, Matt has made a career of helping churches thrive through intentionality, clarity, and creating healthy cultures. He is convinced that a healthy church is led by a healthy team with great chemistry, and loves partnering with Chemistry’s churches to do great things for the Kingdom. [![Facebook Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/facebook.svg)](https://www.facebook.com/snoop4jc) [![Twitter Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/twitter.svg)](https://twitter.com/matt_steen) [![Linkedin Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/linkedin.svg)](https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthewsteen/) ## Latest Resources Browse Articles ![What's Actually Killing Your Church? The Surprising 250-Year Diagnosis](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/blog-images/featured/featured_158.png) #### What's Actually Killing Your Church? The Surprising 250-Year Diagnosis Church decline isn't what you think. 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