--- title: "Applying \"The Silver Rule\" in Church Staffing" description: "I talk with churches and staff people every day that have violated the \"Golden\" rule. And they're a mess. Relationships blow up. Chaos reigns. Ministry suffers. Churches that don't regularly apply the Golden rule from the top down are oftentimes very unhealthy churches..." image: https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/silver-rule.jpg --- [Skip to content](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/applying-the-silver-rule-in-church-staffing#main-content) [![cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hs-fs/hubfs/cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95.webp?width=342&height=95&name=cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95.webp "cropped-chemistry_logo_homepage-342x95")](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/) - [How We Help](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/what-we-do/) - [How We Help Candidates](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate/) - [How We Help Churches](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/church/) - [Our Team](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/team/) - [Our Mission & Strategy](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/what-we-do/) - [Churches](https://chemistrystaffing.com/church) - [Hire New Staff](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/2021-churches-new-staff-hiring/) - [Free 30-Minute Church Consult](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) - [Chemistry Solutions – You Don’t Have to Do Ministry Alone](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/solutions/) - [Final Fit Assessment](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/final-fit-assessment/) - [Senior Pastor Succession](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/succession/) - [Job Seekers](https://chemistrystaffing.com/candidate) - [Add My Resume / Profile](https://chemistry.fyi/kwq) - [Current Openings](https://chemistrystaffing.com/jobs) - [Free Resume Assessment](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/free-resume-self-assessment/) - [Step-by-Step Job Search](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/cjb) - [How Chemistry Can Help](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate/) - [Resources](http://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate/) - [Free Playbooks & Downloads](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/resources/) - [Chemistry Blog](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/) - [2024 Youth Pastor Compensation Survey](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/resources/2024-yp-compensation-survey/) - [Contact Us](http://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) - [Candidates](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/candidate-contact-page/) - [Churches](http://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) - [Find a Job](https://chemistrystaffing.com/jobs) - [My Church is Hiring](https://www.chemistrystaffing.com/lets-talk/) [Staff Health](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/tag/staff-health) # Applying "The Silver Rule" in Church Staffing I talk with churches and staff people every day that have violated the "Golden" rule. And they're a mess. Relationships blow up. Chaos reigns. Ministry suffers. Churches that don't regularly apply the Golden rule from the top down are oftentimes very unhealthy churches... ![silver-rule](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/silver-rule.jpg) The "Golden" rule. We've been taught it since birth. It's outlined in Matthew 7:12. "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you." But have you heard of the "Silver" rule? "**Don't** do to others what you **don’t** want them to do to you." --- Is it just me, or is the world going a little crazy? It seems everyone has picked a side and is sticking to it. On everything. Inside and outside of the church. Currently in the church, a couple of significant scandals are rocking movements, denominations and evangelicals in particular.  The result of the storylines of both Bill Hybels and Paige Patterson in particular will affect each one of us as church leaders. And these storylines affect the future of the big "C" church, whether we like it or not. Some of this change will be for the better, to be sure. But the pain of current change is yet another smudge on the reputation of U. S. Christianity. It seems that we make changes only when we need to. And that 'need to' is usually prefaced by a blog post, a newsletter article, or a group of people that say 'enough is enough'. --- How do we stop this from happening in the future? I think it could be as simple as the "Golden" and "Silver" rules. --- First of all... treat everyone the way that you'd like them to treat you. Simple concept. Hard to do. Because we're usually thinking about ourselves BEFORE others. But the truth is... if we REALLY treated others the way we hoped they would treat us, the world would be a different place. THE CHURCH WOULD BE A DIFFERENT PLACE. I talk with churches and staff people every day that have violated the "Golden" rule. And they're a mess. Relationships blow up. Chaos reigns. Ministry suffers. Churches that don't regularly apply the Golden rule from the top down are oftentimes very unhealthy churches. And many times it all starts with someone thinking about themselves over others. Of course, it's not that easy, you say. But honestly, in many cases, it is.  When we put other people above ourselves, we treat them differently. Romans 12:18-19 gives us great advice: "Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone." The world (and the church) would be a better place if we took these words seriously. --- But that's only half of it. The "Silver" rule says "**Don't** do to others what you **don’t** want them to do to you." Have you ever been mistreated in the church? Treating people harshly. Shading the truth. Manipulation. Entitled thinking. Not keeping promises. I think we can all agree that we don't want to be treated like this. If you don't want to be treated like this, then don't treat others like this. Period. --- Perhaps the situations that we currently find ourselves in could really come down to these two rules. As leaders, let's learn from what's going on around us. The moment we elevate ourselves over another brother or sister in Christ, we high a high likelihood of violating one or the other of these two rules. And as we're finding out, it hardly ever ends well. ### [![Todd Rhoades](https://app.hubspot.com/settings/avatar/883a0d42581424e9bbe7c77dccfeed6b) Todd Rhoades](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/author/todd-rhoades) Todd has invested over 30 years in serving churches, having served as a worship pastor for over 15 years, a church elder for more than a decade, and in various ministry leadership roles in both the business and non-profit sectors. As the original founder and developer of ChurchStaffing.com, Todd fundamentally changed the way thousands of churches search for pastors and staff on the internet. Todd is a graduate of Cedarville University, and lives in Bryan, OH with his wife, Dawn. [![Facebook Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/facebook.svg)](https://www.facebook.com/toddrhoades3) [![Twitter Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/twitter.svg)](https://twitter.com/toddrhoades) [![Linkedin Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/linkedin.svg)](https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddrhoades/) [![Website Author](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/icons/social/web.svg)](http://chemistrystaffing.com/todd-rhoades) ## Latest Resources Browse Articles ![What's Actually Killing Your Church? 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Discover why smaller groups create deeper disciples and stron... ![Stop Apologizing for Small Groups: Why Your ](https://app.hubspot.com/settings/avatar/883a0d42581424e9bbe7c77dccfeed6b) ###### Todd Rhoades July 06, 2026 ![Stop Screening Out Your Best Candidates: Why Competency Matters More Than Seminary Degrees](https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/hubfs/blog-images/featured/featured_142.png) #### Stop Screening Out Your Best Candidates: Why Competency Matters More Than Seminary Degrees Church hiring practices may be filtering out incredible candidates. Learn why competency should trump credentials in your ministry staff se... ![Stop Screening Out Your Best Candidates: Why Competency Matters More Than Seminary Degrees](https://app.hubspot.com/settings/avatar/883a0d42581424e9bbe7c77dccfeed6b) ###### Todd Rhoades July 06, 2026 [![Elements Logo](https://f.hubspotusercontent10.net/hubfs/8768169/Elements/Theme/logos/logo.svg "Elements Logo")](http://chemistrystaffing.com) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consecteturor adipiscing elit. Tincidunt donec vulputate ipsum erat urna auctor. 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